


When The Crows Call

by Deathnotebrainrot155



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Beyond Birthday is His Own Warning, Canon Compliant?, Character Analysis, Character Study, Deathnote spoilers, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Character Death, L deserves better, L needs to stop running from his emotions, My First AO3 Post, Sad Ending, Wammy's House (Death Note), Yagami Light is Kira, bad memories, beyond basically traumatizes L, but at the same time he doesn't, kinda??, like seriously, they used to be friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:03:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28912035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathnotebrainrot155/pseuds/Deathnotebrainrot155
Summary: L doesn't have much time left. So, he decides to go to the roof when its storming to do some self reflection.a.k.a the rain scene but with L's thoughts and stuff.
Relationships: Beyond Birthday & L, L & Yagami Light
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	When The Crows Call

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first ao3 post so I hope u like it! Oh and I would just like to apologize to L for not giving him a happier ending lol. And i totally did not get sad while writing this haha. Also btw listening to 'why is it still raining' by Jack Stauber definitely sets the mood for this fic. 
> 
> And just to clarify obviously I'm not making money off of this nor do I own any of the characters.

L stared blankly at the computer screen. He knew that the task force was talking behind him, however all it sounded like was white noise. L heaved a heavy sigh and felt his hands tremble slightly. He was trying to ignore the sinking feeling he had in his chest. 

However the detective knew he was going to have to face facts sooner than later.

He felt his eyes drift over to Light, who was quietly observing his surroundings. L stiffened as he saw the others eyes glint red. But, they quickly changed back to their normal shade of carmel brown. Light noticed the detectives stare and he gave a subtle friendly smile in response. That smile seemed sinister and devious to L, though. Because he couldn’t help but notice the small changes in his “friend” after they had gotten out of the helicopter. L fought the urge to sigh again.

Light Yagami was no longer alive.

Or at least the person he had pretended to be wasn’t.

And L couldn’t stand it.

The detective grimly returned his gaze to his computer, although he was no longer interested in working.

It was all pointless anyways.

So, L stood up off of his chair and left without a word.

No one called for him to come back.

The detective shoved one of his hands in his pockets and brought the other one to tug at his lips. Many emotions swirled in him, though he pushed all of those feelings down except for one.

Emptiness.

L had always felt a sense of incompletion in his life. Like he was supposed to be fulfilling another duty that was unknown to him. Even after he completed case after case, something was always missing. It was infuriating. Although he had never let him acknowledge this emotion until now.

Might as well indulge in one last thing, the raven haired detective mused darkly.

L climbed the winding staircase up to the roof just as rain started to fall from the grey sky. He cast one look out of the large windows before lightly shrugging and continuing his ascend. A little rain wasn’t going to stop him. Rain was just recycled water after all. And quite frankly, L didn’t mind the rain. It was refreshing and even helped to clear his mind on some occasions.   
The detective paused suddenly as a glimpse of a forgotten memory wove its way into his mind.

A child version of himself sitting along another in the vast field near Wammy’s. It had started to drizzle, however his companion had just grinned widely and held a small hand out to catch the droplets.  
"Don't be so uptight, L! A little rain won’t hurt ya. Plus, if you stay out here, I’ll tell ya a little secret~”

L’s grip tightened on the railing.   
He didn’t exactly want to remember that now. The detective tried not to remember his childhood for a reason. One of them was simply just because it was pointless to try and live in the past and that it would accomplish nothing.

The second one was mainly because of a certain dark brunette boy.

A flash of lightning from afar suddenly shook L out of his thoughts and he resumed his ascend.

He was almost at the roof.

L carded a sweaty palm through his black hair as more memories assaulted his mind. It seemed that he may not get any peace after all.  
The detective roughly brushed a few loose strands of hair away from his face and climbed the last flight of stairs to the top.

It was almost as if some unknown force was pushing him up each step.  
The rain got louder and louder and water was now pouring from the heavens.

That wasn’t going to stop L, though.

The detective finally reached to the top and grabbed the door handle. He didn’t look back as he swung open the doors and padded out into the stormy afternoon.  
L sighed as he immediately was soaked to the bone, relishing the feeling of ice flooding threw his veins.  
He looked upward and squinted at the menacing grey clouds overhead. There was something oddly comforting in the color grey, however.  
A low rumble of thunder sounded nearby as L tilted his head farther upward and closed his drooping eyes.

He was tired.

The detective almost hoped that the rain would lull him into a sleep right then and there that he would never wake up from.

Maybe he was always destined to die.

To pay for his sins.

L opened his eyes and could not tell whether it was rain that filled them anymore.

The raven’s clothes clung to his scrawny frame and made him feel even smaller. Car horns from far below rang and far away a dog barked.

And then there were bells.

L’s eyes grew wider as the instrument chimed softly in his ears. He could hear them even over the pounding rain. And they were not just any bells.

They were the chapel bells from Wammy’s.

L supposed that sound should have made him tense after everything.

It should have made him leave that rooftop right then and there.

But it didn’t.

Instead, he continued looking blankly at the swirling clouds and felt a strange feeling wash over him. It wasn’t good nor bad.

Just. . . strange.

L wasn’t sure if he had felt something as foreign before.

Oh.  
That’s what it was.

Acceptance of defeat.

The bells chimed louder in his ears.

The doors to the entrance of the roof suddenly swung open.

And none other than Light Yagami was standing there.

L’s eyes drifted to his lips as he heard the boy yelling something to him. Despite himself, L smirked slightly before putting a hand to his ear, gesturing to the other that he couldn’t hear. He saw Light make an annoyed face before stepping out into the downpour. The other boy slowly made his way to L, squinting because of the rain.

L abruptly felt a sense of loss sweep over him and whatever smirk had been on his face promptly vanished. The detective shook his head slightly, trying to dismiss the feeling. L tried to shove it into a tiny box and then make it disappear. However, as his eyes locked onto Light’s, the feeling chased after him with a vengeance.

L swiftly broke eye contact and decided it would be best to stare at the floor of the roof instead. And after what seemed like a century, Light finally stopped in front of the detective.

“What are you doing, Ryuzaki?” Light asked over rain. L watched silently as the rain splattered onto the roof, wondering for a moment if he should just simply go back inside without another word.

That would at least be less painful.

“Oh, I’m not doing anything in particular,” L finally answered, still studying the floor, “It’s just. . .”  
The detective paused again for a brief moment. What was he going to say? That he was waiting for his upcoming execution? No, that would never do. However, he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to finally say whatever.

It’s not like it mattered anyways, right?

“I hear the bell,” L continued softly, his hands balling into fists in his pockets. He turned to face Light, eyes dark and dull.

“The sound of the bell’s been unusually loud today,”

Light’s brows knit together in confusion and mild annoyance. He glanced from side to side, mouth twitching into a frown.  
“Huh? I don’t hear anything,” he shrugged, eyeing the detective. L felt a rock settle in his stomach.

Even the way he talked was different.

“Really? you can’t hear them?” He murmured, “It’s been so loud all day. I can feel them ringing in my ear non- stop. I find it very. . . distracting.”

L turned his gaze to the sky once more and almost wished that the lightning would strike him down instead of Light.

Maybe then the taste of defeat wouldn’t be so utterly unbearable.

“I wonder if it’s a church. . . maybe a wedding, or perhaps a. . .” L trailed off. No. he wasn’t going to give the other the satisfaction of revealing what he knew the bells were. He wasn’t going to let Light Yagami of all people know even a small sliver of the bad things in his childhood.

“What exactly are you getting at, Ryuzaki?” Light questioned once again. This time, L could detect irritation laced within the other’s tone. “Come on, cut it out. Let’s get back inside.”

For some odd reason, L felt a pang in his heart. Was it. . .?

No. No that couldn’t be it.

He could not possibly be feeling guilt for a murder.

Right?

Or was it that L was mourning the loss of the real Light Yagami?

He knew it was a childish and illogical thought at best. It was idiotic to believe that Light Yagami and Kira had different personalities. Even before the other entered the helicopter, Light must have still sympathized with Kira.He must have still wholeheartedly believed that Kira was right and maybe even wished he was working with him instead L.

That had to be the case.

There was no way that L could have saved him. That maybe if L had just held onto the notebook tighter, Light wouldn’t be gone. Not to mention, L and Light were never really friends. Sure, they worked closely together, were handcuffed together, and even slept in the same bed, but that meant nothing.

Because L would never be friends with a murderer, memories intact or not.

So then why did L feel like throwing up?

“I’m sorry,” L suddenly murmured, the words slipping out of his lips before he could think. Why was he saying sorry to a cold- hearted killer? “Nothing I say makes sense anyway.” His hands felt like deadweights in his pockets. The detective sighed heavily, feeling led seep into his veins.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t believe any of it. . .” L waited with baited breath for the other to respond. He almost wanted to see if he would get a response that would sound more like the person he knew just a few days ago.   
A tiny glimmer of hope made its way into L’s cold heart.

“You know, you’re totally right,” Light suddenly spoke up, “Honestly, most of the things you say sound like complete nonsense. There’d be no end to my troubles if I actually took you seriously all the time. I probably know that better than anyone.”

That small bit of hope shriveled up and died.

L deflated and his shoulders hunched further.

Ah, so you really are gone. . .

“Yes,” he responded lifelessly, “I’d say that’s a fair assessment. . .” L felt something bitter rise up in his chest. “But. . . I could say the same about you.”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

L turned his empty gaze towards the other and felt that bitter feeling grow tenfold. L’s lips tugged upward slightly and his eyes narrowed.

“Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, has there ever been a point when you’ve actually told the truth?”

A silence has never been so utterly painful in L’s life.

Light’s eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened into a thin line. L stared back unflinchingly, not even attempting to hide resentment in his dark stare. Rain dripped off of the detectives raven hair and fell to the ground, thunder rumbling once again in the background.

Had L actually been able to silence him?

Light’s deep frown suddenly turned less threatening and he fixed the other with an almost disappointed look.

“Where is this coming from, Ryuzaki? I do admit, I stretch the truth here and there. However, find me one person in this world who’s never had to tell a lie. It wouldn’t be easy. Human beings just aren’t made to be perfect like that. Everybody lies from time to time. Even so I’ve always made a conscious effort to be careful not to tell a lie that could hurt others. That’s my answer.”

L had to restrain himself from letting out a bark of vicious laughter.

What bullshit.

L stared at him a moment longer before a sorrowful half smile came onto his face Emptiness, filling him to the brim once more. His gaze drifted back to the floor and a blaze of lightning flashed through the sky.

What a fool I am for feeling this way. L thought to himself forlornly, how are you one to believe that you can save people. You couldn’t save anyone when you were young and you still cannot save anyone.  
Worthless. It’s all worthless.

His chest tightened and he desperately hoped that there was only rain in his eyes.

“I see, I had a feeling you would say that,” He finally sighed.

The bells rang louder, almost mockingly so.

L felt cold right down to the bone and icy rain slid down his face. He almost felt as if he was a mere stature. That maybe he would just stand there for eternity.  
But, standing out in the rain would accomplish nothing anymore. He was soaked to the bone and his clothes clung uncomfortably to his pale skin. And he knew the Light wasn’t going to leave the roof without him in tow.

After all, the final show wouldn’t be able to start without the raven haired detective.

“Let’s go back inside, “ L finally said, straightening, “We’re both drenched.”

Light nodded stiffly before turning for the roof exit. L followed him and stared at his retreating form. It was almost funny how Light was already way in front of him at the exit. It was almost. . .  
Thunder crashed louder overhead as L finally got to the exit and slipped in wordlessly with Light.  
L tried not to look back as the doors slammed behind them.

The bells grew louder.

. . .

L watched as Light slipped his shoes off and began drying himself. The detective draped his own white towel over his head and briefly ruffled his soaked black hair. He felt as if he could barely stand. His legs felt weak and his gut churned. He willed the incessant chiming in his ears to leave as he blankly watched raindrops drip off of his hair and onto the cold floor.

He finally huffed quietly and made his way closer to Light.

“Well, that was certainly an unpleasant outing,” L said, grasping at anything to say. He just couldn’t bear another moment of the chimes.

Light scoffed and L could practically feel the other’s eye roll.

“It’s your own fault,” he muttered, “I mean, what did you expect?”

The detective’s arms felt heavy as they lay limp at his side.

“You’re right. . . Sorry,” Another apology slipped past his lips and he felt the urge to let out another deep sigh.

He had only apologized a handful of times in his life but now here he was apologizing for someone he didn’t even care about.

L stared at the other’s back for a moment longer before an idea came into his head. It was a pointless one, but L really didn’t have much to lose at this point.  
So, he closed the distance between them, taking his own damp towel off of his head. He knelt down near Light’s dripping feet and grasped the other’s ankle. He heard him gasp and stiffen slightly.

“What are you doing?” The younger questioned, shocked. L looked up at him, heart heavy.

“I thought I might help you out,” He shrugged, “You were busy wiping yourself off anyways.”

Light made a face.

“Look, i-it’s fine. You don’t have to do that,”

“I can give you a massage as well, “ he offered dully. “It’s the least i can do to atone for my sins”

L almost surprised himself after he realized what he had just uttered.

He sure was loose lipped today.

Light blinked in confusion before narrowing his eyes once again.

“Fine, do what you want,” He mumbled. L stared at him for a moment more before getting to work. L could barely understand his own actions anymore. He felt too exposed, but somehow couldn’t stop himself from saying or doing these things.

It felt as if he was barely in control of himself anymore.

He heard Light grunt above him as he accidently rubbed the towel a little too roughly against his bare foot. The detective paid no mind to it though as he continued to let himself get lost in his own thoughts.  
I wonder if he and I would have met earlier if I had left Wammy’s sooner. . . Would I have been able to change him? Maybe we would have even. . .

L almost laughed scornfully at himself. What the hell was wrong with him?

Of course he wouldn’t have been able to change him.

His eyes suddenly widened as he felt Light bend down and gently press a towel to his hair.

L realized that he had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he had stopped drying the other’s foot and had actually gotten it wet again from the water dripping off of himself. Light swept the towel against his hair softly to the right and L could only stare emptily ahead.

“Here you’re soaked,”

L hated how gentle Light was suddenly acting.

Mostly because deep down it almost felt nice.

Light finally drew the towel away and L felt his shoulders droop.

“I’m sorry,” He said quietly.

Another useless apology.  
And yet they fell so easily from his lips for some reason.

He wasn’t even sure if he meant them anymore.

That was untrue, however.

L Lawlight knew exactly how he felt, he was just too cowardly to acknowledge it.

He finally resumed drying the others feet, refusing to look at his face.

The detective didn’t want to see his expression.

His ears rang and his body ached as they fell into an uncomfortable silence for the umpteenth time that day.  
More unwanted memories of his younger years invaded L’s mind.

They just wouldn’t stop.

He tried to ignore the yawning hole slowly growing bigger inside of him as he realized the similarities between Light and a certain. . . someone. L would never admit that it terrified him that he hadn’t realized sooner.

Or more that he refused to.

Maybe he will become even more like him after I’m gone, L suddenly thought. Come to think of it, I wonder what will become of this world. I suppose those two will fill in my position. Or at least I hope they can learn to work together. Perhaps I should have done more to help them.

L paused for a minute pursing his lips.

Well, I suppose it's too late now. And most likely nothing would have changed. My only hope is that they might be able to stop Light once and for all.

If he can be stopped, that is.

With a muffled sigh, L stopped drying Light’s feet and finally gained the courage to slowly look up at him.  
His expression was unreadable.

“It will be lonely, won’t it?”

Light’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Huh?”

L looked him dead in the eyes.

“You and I will be parting ways soon,”

Light’s eyes widened even more and a strange look passed over his face.

“Wha-?”

L’s phone promptly interrupted him before he could say anymore.  
The detective was almost disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to hear what Light was going to say. Nonetheless, he dropped the others foot and fished his phone out of his still damp pocket. He stood and answered it after a few rings.

“Hello, L, I have prepared what you have asked,” A crackly voice answered.

L understood immediately and stiffened.

After a beat of silence, he responded.

“I see. I’m on my way.”

He snapped his phone closed and slipped it back into his pocket without another word. He turned away from Light and looked towards the double doors leading to the main headquarters where everyone else currently were. He felt himself hunch over further and his lips turn downwards.

It’s time, he realized numbly.

“Come on Light, let’s go,” He spoke up, hoping his voice wasn’t too uneven.  
“It seems like it all worked out,”

He didn’t wait for the other as he started towards the exit.

L didn’t try to push down the hollow feeling that swallowed him this time.

After all, this was the only fit punishment for a sinner like himself.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to comment any tips or your thoughts i would greatly appreciate it! I might post a few more things later so expect a few different fics from a few different fandoms hehe :)  
> Anyways have a good rest of your day/ night and thank you for reading!


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